


How To Get Everyone To Stop Being Idiots!

by NUMBER1ANGIRL



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Alix is done with everyone, Body Swap AU, Crack, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Everyone is redeemable except for Lila and Gabriel, F/F, F/M, Identity Reveal, Inspired By Tumblr, Lila Rossi salt, M/M, do not take this seriously, protect marinette squad, they are the worst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-19 15:03:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 16,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20659166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NUMBER1ANGIRL/pseuds/NUMBER1ANGIRL
Summary: After a particularly frustrating girl's night, Alix gets akumatised into Fan Girl. She has the ability to swap people's bodies.Unfortunately for Hawkmoth, Alix immediately swaps everyone with the last person that they kissed. Now with no Hawkmoth to control Fan Girl, mischief ensues when the guys have to go through some girl issues, Alix is making a documentary, and Adrien and Marinette switched with eachother!?!It's a crazy week, that everyone would be so much happier to never be reminded of ever again. However, some-bunny isn't having it.*Based on a Tumblr AU*This is crack. Should not be taken seriously.*Chloe is okay in this AU. Everyone is good, except for Lila and Gabriel.





	1. Prologue/Epilogue

**Author's Note:**

> Original idea, https://gataclism.tumblr.com/post/185578571531/body-swap-au.

Nobody is really sure when this story starts, but everyone can agree that no matter how you look at it, it started with Alix.

“UGH!” Alix groans, banging her head against her bedroom wall. She had just come home from yet _another_ meeting about how to get Adrien and Marinette together. The meeting had run well into the night, yet they still had no exact plan!

It wasn’t _just_ the whole thing with Adrien and Marinette, though that was enough to drive anyone insane, it was just… EVERYBODY! 

She constantly rolled her eyes whenever she was the only person that noticed just how into each other Max and Kim were. There was obviously something going on with Nathaniel, though she had no idea who he was seeing. And Alix felt that at this point, Marinette was really just pulling her leg when she talked about how her and Adrien weren’t together yet. I mean, how could Adrien possibly be so _dense_ that he didn’t notice that she liked him?

Alix was so done with being smarter than everybody else.

That was when a small weight on the stress ball she was squeezing caught her attention. She looked down to see a small black butterfly merge with her possession.

“Fan Girl,” A deep voice echoed in her head. “You have the ability to make everyone realize their feelings for each other.”

_How original._ Alix thought to herself. 

“You can swap anybodies bodies, reveal whatever you want, get signaled for all the newest… gossip. But, in the meantime, bring me Ladybug and Chat Noir’s miraculouses.”

“Hmm…” Alix murmured. One thing that he had said caught her attention. “I can swap anyone with anyone?” 

Hawk Moth hesitated. “Yes…?”

“Do I have to be in the same room with these people?” She asked.

“What’s with all of these-?”

“Just answer the question.” Alix demanded.

Hawk Moth sighs heavily, “No. You do not have to be-”

“Does it have to swap with a _specific_ person?” 

“No. Why-” 

She smiled, and without a second thought, she clapped her hands together.

“Wait, wait, what are you-” Hawk Moth’s voice cut away instantly. 

Alix breathed in a little bit. Could it have possibly worked? At least the over-dramatic Butterfly wanna-be was out of her head.

Only one way to find out if she was successful.

Steeling herself, she picked up her phone and dialed the first number that came to mind.

“Who’s there?” Alya’s groggy voice came over the phone. “It’s the middle of the night!”

Alix breathed deeply, “Alya, it’s 11.”

“Aly-” The voice cut off immediately, with a loud shriek, and the call ended.

Alix breathed deeply yet again, and, slowly, a smirk spread across her face. It worked. It worked. And tomorrow, she could only imagine the drama.

At that moment, a light blue circle appeared in her room. A tall woman with a camera on her shoulder jumped out of it, a brilliant smile covering her face.

“My old room!” She cooed, and then turned to Alix. “Hey there, Mini Me. Or, should I call you Fan Girl?”

“Oh, please don’t.” Alix groans. “It makes me feel _so _unoriginal.” Bunnix laughs. “What are you doing here.”

Bunnix sighs, “Well, seeing as I missed this whole thing the first time around, I figured I’d come here and do you a favor.” She smiled brilliantly again, and showed off a video camera she had perched on her shoulder.

Alix stared at her. If things went as planned, tomorrow would be fun. And Alix most certainly wanted to remember these moments for the rest of her life. “Alright, Future Me. Let’s do this thing!”


	2. Chapter 1

The next day, as expected, was the best day of Alix’s entire life.

When she got to school, she started filming an intro for the amazing documentary she had planned out.

“Hey, hey! It’s your girl, Alix, and this is day one of ‘How To Get Everyone To Stop Being Idiots!’ This is probably gonna take a while, so I may not be able to keep count. Enjoy!” She then, hid the camera in her backpack, not wanting to draw too much attention to herself when superheroes came along.

Alix found it miraculous that she’d been the first one to arrive to class. It wasn’t like she was Marinette, or even Adrien, but it was rare that she was earlier than everybody. Of course, the reason for that was incredibly obvious when Mylene got in. 

Her hair was down, not held back by it’s usual headband, and she was moaning and clutching her stomach like her life depended on it.

“You okay, Mylene?” Alix asks.

A shudder wracks her body, and she looks up. “My name is Ivan.” She chokes.

Alix raises her eyebrows in fake surprise. “Okay, then. You okay, Ivan?”

“It feels like my body is being torn apart from the inside.” He wails.

Alix’s mouth drops open, wishing she could take a video of this. _This is an unexpected, but enjoyable, surprise. _

Ivan takes his usual seat, and Alix found it hilarious to see small Mylene take an entire desk all to herself. _Himself_. She corrects.

The next one in, was Alya. Alix was pretty sure she knew who this actually was, but anything was possible.

“Hey, Alya!” She smiled.

“Dudette.” Alya mutters, and Alix sighs in relief. Nino. Most definitely Nino.

Nino takes his seat up front, hiding his head in his arms. “You too?” Ivan groans. Nino whips his head back, and sees Mylene. He points a shaky finger, and Ivan sighs, “Ivan.” He turns to Alix. 

“Nope.” She replies, feeling unbelievably lucky that she had absolutely no one to switch with. “Still Alix.”

“Lucky.” Ivan groans.

They stay in silence for a little while later, before the next two come in. Nathaniel, who is looking basically the same, and Juleka. When Alix got a good look at Juleka, she wished, yet again, that she had the camera out.

It was the best thing ever. Juleka, scary looking, purple and pink haired Juleka, was wearing bubble gum pink. The lace was on the neckline, at the ends of the sleeves, and at the bottom of the dress. Her hair was pulled back in two braids, and Alix was eerily reminded of a possessed doll.

“Rose.” They all guessed at the same time.

“How did you guess?” Rose asks, her voice loud, clear, and too peppy for her character.

Nino shrugs, “Something just gave it away.”

They went through introductions again, and, apparently, the only people not switched were Alix and Nathaniel. She slumped a little in her seat at the fact that she was wrong about him and Marc, but he appeared normal enough.

Max came in, and everyone badgered him with questions. He simply blinked at everyone, and then started messing with his frames. “How do you feel?” Rose murmurs.

He looks up at all of them. “Smaller.”

Ivan tilts his head, bewilderment flashing across his features. “Kim?”

“Yeah?”

Nino raises his eyebrows, “I didn’t see that coming.”

Alix rolls her eyes. _DENSE!!!_

The actual Mylene and Alya come in not long afterwards. As soon as she saw him, Alya grabbed her phone from Nino and started rapidly typing something on it.

“New Ladybug thing?” Nino asks softly.

Alya glares at him. “Well… yes… have you not noticed!?” She yells at him, and it was actually quite hilarious to watch Nino’s body yell at Alya’s. “But, that’s not what I’m doing! I have to get in touch with Marinette!”

“You haven’t texted her yet?” Mylene asks softly, which is actually still rather loud for Ivan’s voice.

Alya shrugs, “I’ve tried, but I had Nino’s phone. There were only, like, two texts before I got their. I don’t even know if she has her phone!”

At that moment, the actual Juleka comes in. She was wearing a dark pink outfit, and an un-Rose-like scowl on her face. She walked past everyone with a mumbled, “This is the darkest clothing she had.”

Lila came next, and everyone stared at her with rapt attention. She stared back at everyone else, and then took her seat.

The next to come in were Chloe and Sabrina. That wouldn’t have been too strange, they usually showed up together, except for the fact that Chloe was following Sabrina around. Sabrina, who walked with crossed arms and Chloe’s signature Bratty™ scowl.

“Don’t!” Chloe snapped, and Alix took out her phone, and snapped a picture, because this was too priceless to not get on camera.

Alya groans, apparently still having trouble getting in touch with Marinette. “How did this happen!?” She then holds up a finger to stop Nino from talking, “And don’t you dare say, an Akuma! I can tell its an Akuma!” 

Kim nods, “I’m with Alya, why did we switch with who we switched with? Why did Alix and Nathaniel not switch? Why is some random dude standing in front of our class?” They all turn to stare at the guy up front.

“Mme. Bustier?” Sabrina asks.

The man nods his head, and slumps down into his seat.

Alix laughs, trying to make this come out as a joke, and not just a very obvious hint. “Maybe it’s just relationship troubles.” 

Everyone froze, and Alix had to actively stop herself from rolling her eyes at how easily they got _that_. 

“The person we’re… dating?” Ivan asks.

“No!” Kim’s voice echoes from the room, and they all turn to see the real Max. “More like…” He blushes deeply. “The last person we’ve kissed!”

Everyone raises their eyebrows. “Dude, you’re almost, like, Marinette late!” Kim yells.

“Yes,” Max sighs, “I needed to do some research. See, Jagged Stone is now a crocodile. I am now, Kim! Sabrina is now Chloe! None of us are in official relationships-”

“Or any relationships at all!” Chloe puts in, Sabrina moping slightly behind her.

Max continues. “I believe that we are now whoever we last kissed.”

Mylene snaps her fingers, “Which is why Alix never changed!”

Alya groans, “Well then, I don’t see why Marinette hasn’t returned any of my texts! I mean, she would’ve told me if she’d kissed someone… right?” She looks up.

“You don’t know.” Alix supplies. “I mean, none of us ever thought that Chloe would kiss someone, either.”

“We were playing Ladybug and Chat Noir!” She bites. 

“Ladybug and Chat Noir aren’t dating.” Nino murmurs. 

Chloe rolls her eyes, “So they say.”

Then, Adrien walks in. He had his arms wrapped around himself, his head down. He was wearing a white t-shirt, different from his usual outfit choice, and his hair was an absolute mess. He stopped at the front of the room, and then took his usual seat next to Nino. 

“What’d I miss?” Adrien asks, his voice soft. 

Alya shrugs from behind him, “Apparently, we all swapped bodies with the last person we kissed.”

Adrien gently shakes his head, “But… I only…” He stops, and then, without warning, groans and starts banging his head on his desk.

“Dude?” Nino asks.

Marinette rushes into the room, screaming, “I’m here! I’m here!” The bell rings.

Everyone stares. Marinette’s hair is a mess, she had on an overly large sweatshirt on top of her… pyjamas? She also pauses at the front of the room, eventually sitting in her seat next to Alya.

“Okay, class!” Mme. Boustier calls out. “Roll call!”

“What’s up?” Marinette murmurs to Alya. 

Alix hears Alya explaining, yet again, the situation. And then a tingle formed in her head, and Alix remembered what Hawk Moth had told her. _“Get signaled for all the latest gossip.”_

“But… I don’t remember kissing Marinette.” Marinette murmurs. And Alya starts screaming.

Chloe raises her hand, “Um, Mme. Boustier, Alya is causing a disturbance.”

“Alya?” She asks, raising one of her newly thick eyebrows.

Alya smiles, a devious sort of smile that Nino could never pull off by himself. “Marinette?” She asks, leaning forward.

Adrien, who was still banging his head on the table, makes a strangled sort of noise, and gently raises an arm. 

“Adrien?” She asks.

Marinette’s head was cocked to the side, thinking, and then her eyes slowly widened, arms flailing. “Oh my-” She stops herself, and then mumbles something that sounds suspiciously like, “Plagg’s right, I am an idiot.”

Everyone’s mouths drop open, except for Lila, though no one seemed to realize how she glared daggers at Marinette- Adrien. 

“I’ll allow it.” Mme. Boustier murmurs.

**(BONUS)**

**Adrien’s Reaction: **

** **


	3. Chapter 2

Everyone stared at Marinette and Adrien, one of whom’s mouth was still wide open. The other, kept banging her head against her desk. 

Alix felt both triumphant, and angry. All this time, trying to help Marinette, and here she was with proof that she had kissed Adrien at least once! 

“So!” Alya prompted. “Explanation?”

Nino gently put a hand on her shoulder, “Aly-”

“No!” She yelled. “Now!”

“Shouldn’t we be getting to class?” Lila asks, just a little too loudly. 

Mme. Boustier looked up at Lila. “Thank you, Mme. Rossi. I want nothing more than to teach right now.”

Mylene leaned over to Alix, which , with Ivan’s bulk, was crossing into Alix’s personal space just a bit too much. “Wow. She made Mme. Boustier sarcastic.”

Alix pushed her away with two hands, “Yeah, I got that, Captain Obvious.”

“Lila is right!” Marinette yells, and then murmurs quietly, “Something I never thought I’d ever say before.” She speaks up again, “We should get back to class!”

Mme. Boustier sighs. “Alright… how were all of your mornings?” Everyone turns to stare at each other. “We’ll go around the room!” She says, way too brightly. “Nino?”

“Did you like skip on your morning coffee, Dudette?” He groans.

“Nino?” She asks, a little more sternly.

Nino sighs, and the story begins. 

________________________________________________________________

The phone rang. Nino groaned, lifting his dead asleep arm. He picked up, not being able to see much because of his lack of glasses. 

“Who’s there? It’s the middle of the night!” He groans, and his voice sounds different. Like, way too high.

“Alya, it’s 11.” The voice says, and Nino wants to bark, ‘And for me, that’s the middle of the night!’. But then, his brain catches up with what the voice had just said.

“Aly-” The ‘a’ came out as a scream, as he turned to the mirror, that was not a usual thing in his room, and saw his girlfriend’s reflection in the mirror. 

He dropped the phone, and cursed when realizing that this was Alya’s phone, and she would probably kill him if anything happened to it. When it was finally back in his hand, he saw that he had accidentally hung up. 

Wow, did he hope that whoever called wasn’t someone that would make fun of his freak out later. 

He stared at the phone, wishing desperately that Alya wasn’t super protective about her password. He also kind of wished that his girlfriend trusted him as much as she trusted her best friend.

Suddenly a loud blast of the song that he had hand picked– not wanting some amateur music– came out of the phone. He looked down to see his face lit up on the screen.

“Hello.” He says cautiously.

“Hey, am I having some weird hallucination, or did we suddenly swap bodies?” Wow, was it strange to have his own voice talk to him.

He shakes his head– her head–, and then realizes that she can’t see him. “Nah. I look exactly like you, too!” He says, suddenly letting his panic creep into his voice.

“So we swapped bodies.” Alya says slowly. He smiles, thinking that if anybody could figure out a way out of this, Alya could. “Cool, do you think this could last for, like, another week?”

Nino blinked several times. “With Ladybug and Chat Noir around? Not… likely…” 

Alya sighs, “Oh well. See you at school tomorrow.” 

Nino’s eyes widen, “Wait! Wait! Can you at least tell me your password?” 

Alya laughs loudly. “Good one, Nino. Night!”

The phone hangs up, and Nino stares ahead long after the conversation is finished. What had just happened? Alya’s reaction was almost as confusing as waking up as his girlfriend. 

He looks down at the bed, and falls face first onto it. He really is tired. And it sure is late. He lets himself doze for a little bit… and then the phone rings again.

________________________________________________________________

After she hung up on Nino, she immediately went looking for Marinette’s contact info. Their were exactly three texts there, from three weeks ago: 

**Nino: Alya with you?**

**Marinette: Yeah.**

**Nino: Cool.**

Rolling her eyes, Alya started her own torrent of messages.

**Nino: Hey, you awake?**

**Nino: This Alya, by the way.**

**Nino: NOT NINO!**

**Nino: Just wanting to make this clear: this is your best friend… not her boyfriend.**

**Nino: Okay… you’re either not awake…**

**Nino: Or still think this is Nino texting you.**

**Nino: Please pick up.**

**Nino: Your phone is on right?**

**Nino: If it’s not, that would explain why you always sleep in.**

**Nino: Maybe I have not made myself clear enough that this is Alya?**

**Nino: I have Nino’s phone for good reasons.**

**Nino: Unlike that time you took Adriens! **

**Nino: Hahaha!**

**Nino: Haha!**

**Nino: Ha!**

**Nino: Ha.**

**Nino: Ha… ha… ha… **

**Nino: I’ll delete that before Nino gets his phone back, I promise.**

She stared at the phone for a while, and then started calling Marinette. By the end of it she had 6 unanswered calls, and a lot of desperate text messages. She then turned to someone she knew would always answer the phone.

“She’s not picking up!” 

“Who?” Nino asks.

Alya groaned. “Marinette, obviously!” 

“Obviously.” Nino deadpans.

“I mean, I’ve texted her a lot! Called her a ton! _I_ always answer _her_!” Alya then went on a rampage. She wasn’t exactly sure where she went, or what she said, but a few things stuck out in her mind. 

She was laying down on Nino’s bed. “Is it because of Lila? It’s Lila isn’t it? But… I mean… it’s not like I’m trying to be nice to Chloe.”

Sobbing on the living room couch, “This is the longest we’ve been apart!’

“You talked four hours ago.”

Sitting on a kitchen counter. “…And that’s when I vowed I would support her for the rest of my life!” 

“WE GET IT!” A little voice yelled through a door. “You and your best friend have a very clingy relationship!” 

“We’re not clingy!” Alya defends, and then she listens to the phone for the first time in hours and hears… snoring. “NINO!”

“Wha- wha- ALYA! It’s four in the morning! Go to sleep! I’m sure that you and Marinette will be fine!”

Alya huffs, hangs up the phone, and then goes back to her texts.

**Nino: Hey, me again.**

**Nino: I miss you.**

**Nino: But I’m not being clingy.**

**Nino: Me, not clingy.**

**Nino: I’m just gonna go chat with one of my many other best friends.**

**Nino: Who are so much more attentive than you.**

**Nino: …**

**Nino: Just kidding! **

**Nino: Love you, Marinette!**

**Nino: And, again, this is ALYA!**

**Nino: ALYA! Not NINO!**

________________________________________________________________

A knock came to the door, and an unfamiliar woman’s voice came through. “Hey, Mylene? You awake?”

Ivan couldn’t even correct them, the pain so intense. “Everything hurts!” He groans.

The voice hesitates. “This seems more like a job for your mother.”

________________________________________________________________

Juleka groans. Rose had _no_ dark clothes. In the very back of her closet, away from all the bubble gum and petal pinks, she found a hot pink and magenta camo jacket. She put that on top of Rose’s flamingo pink spaghetti strap, and neon pink jeans. After a lot of searching she finally found the easy hair coloring stuff that her and Mylene had chipped in to give Rose for her birthday last year. It was pink, and untouched. She stared at herself, and felt her eyes water, she was so bright. 

Sighing deeply, she took Rose’s bright pink backpack, and headed out for the day. Ignoring Rose’s father’s- mother’s- questions as she walked out the door.

________________________________________________________________

Sabrina simply stared as Jean sets tea on the nightstand. “Thank you, sir.” She says softly, and his head whips up to stare at her. “I… I mean… about time?” 

He softly nods, and then walks out of her room, leaving Sabrina to go into Chloe’s closet to pick out her outfit for the day. 

She sighs deeply, knowing that Chloe would never forgive her if she chose something that she didn’t approve of.

She finally settles on a yellow sundress, and sets Chloe’s usual sunglasses on her nose, enjoying the familiarity of glasses. 

And then, Chloe woke up. She could hear it. Most people would probably be able to hear it. A high pitched shriek that seemed to be heard from halfway across Paris, even though she knew for a fact that it was only a little distance from the Bourgeois Hotel.

________________________________________________________________

Mylene awoke, her head resting on her forearms. She breathed in and out, perfectly at peace and sighed deeply. And then she frowned. 

“Why do I feel so good?” She then shrugged, enjoying her peace for the time, until a buzz filled her ears. She looked over at her phone, and answered.

“Hello?” She asked, surprised by how deep her voice was.

“Ivan?” It sounded like Max.

Her eyes widened, and she went to the camera function on the phone, and stared at her reflection. 

“I’m not Ivan.” She whispers breathlessly. 

Max mhm’s. “Can I ask who I’m speaking with?”

“Mylene.” She whispers.

“Oh, good! It’s not just me!”

She starts breathing heavily. “I’m gonna be like three feet taller.”

“Well, I’m gonna be three heads shorter. We should make a club!”

Mylene sighs. “Kim?” She guesses.

“Yeah! How’d you know?”

“Just a hunch,” She breaths, getting out of bed. “Just a hunch.”

________________________________________________________________

Nathaniel refused to talk, and everybody was okay with that, since everyone believed that he hadn’t switched. Alix and Lila also didn’t speak up, Alix hadn’t switched, and most people didn’t even know if Lila was Lila, or who she was if it wasn’t her. 

Marinette and Adrien refused to speak, but Alya badgered them so hard, they gave the stories… but at the very basics. Because, if anyone heard the whole stories… they’d have more than a few questions.

________________________________________________________________

When Tikki woke up, she was not in her own bed. She was asleep on a warm shoulder, and when she looked up, she was scared that she had floated up to one of Marinette’s photos in the night again. 

But, the chest was moving, and the skin sure felt real. 

In a panic, Tikki scrambled away from Adrien Agreste… A.K.A Chat Noir. She floated around, until she found his bathroom. And then her mouth fell open in horror. She… she… she was PLAGG!

She started hyperventilating, hoping that she was just missing something, but when she looked down at her hands, they were black, not red. 

“Tikki! Tikki!” A very masculine voice suddenly called out. Tikki’s eyes widened, but then slowly lowered. This was _Marinette_. 

She could play this off. Maybe save their identities! Elation filled her, as she phased out of the bathroom, outside, and into the room by the windows.

“Plagg?” Marinette asks.

“It’s… it’s me, Marinette!” Tikki calls.

Marinette blinks. “How… how did you find me?”

“Uh…” Tikki blinks. “Kwama-tuition?

Wow, was she going to pay for that later.

“Okay.” Marinette sighs, and then looks around. “Tikki… if you’re Plagg… then… who am I?” 

Tikki shakes her head. “You don’t want to know.”

“Why would you say that?”

“Because if I told you, you would get incredibly flustered.”

“I would not!” Marinette shoots back. 

Tikki sighs, and then flies back to the bathroom, looking, way too long for a model’s bathroom honestly, for a handheld mirror.

When she gets back, and shows Marinette the mirror, the girl’s arms start flailing, and she screams.

“Told ya.” Tikki sighs. 

Marinette breathes deeply. “Tikki, I need you to get me clothes.” She says, seriously.

“Okay,” Tikki says, flying to the closet, and looking through his many outfits. “Wow,” She breaths. “Y’know, for a model, Adrien seems to have very few outfit choices. I mean… I’m pretty sure you’re wearing his only pair of pyjamas.”

Marinette says in a strangled whisper, “Tikki, I’m not wearing any clothes.” 

Tikki whips around, staring as the blankets pool around Marinette’s waist. “Wow, I thought those were photoshopped.” Tikki breaths.

“Tikki!” Marinette yells.

“Right, sorry.” She sighs, and then finally find a shirt that was not black with stripes. Unfortunately, it seemed as if Adrien only owned about eighty pairs of the same jeans, seriously, how could the son of a fashion designer have such bland clothing options?

When Nathalie finally came in, looking slightly frazzled and nervous, she instantly called Adrien to the car. 

It was funny, really. Tikki had never been out of the house this early before.

________________________________________________________________

Plagg woke up when a beautiful melody sounded through the room. With one eye open, he looked around to see Marinette Dupain-Cheng asleep on her bed. He looked down at his hands and saw that they were red, not black. 

“Hey! Hey! Dupain-Cheng!” He called out.

Marinette slowly opened her eyes, and stared at him. “You… you are…”

“Plagg.” He answered.

Marinette blinked a few times, and then looked at her hands, and down at her pyjama top. “Plagg? Did… did… you like… find me or something?”

He tilted his head, and sighed, because only one person was that oblivious. “You are such an idiot, Adrien.”

*********************************************

“Just wear the outfit I picked out for you, kid!” Plagg yelled. 

Adrien shook his head. “No, Plagg. Marinette is just-”

“If you say, ‘a friend’, I swear to Tikki, I will lose it!” 

Adrien huffs. “The point is, I cannot take her clothes off. Especially without her permission!” He then smiles brightly when he finally finds a large, plain sweatshirt out of the girls very fashionable closet. “YES!”

“ “Y’know, that is most likely her father’s… right?” 

Adrien just shrugs, and puts on Marinette’s flats, and runs out of the house, Plagg just barely managing to hide in the pink purse he had slung over his shoulder.

“If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times. For the son of a fashion designer, you have terrible sense of fashion.” He grumbles.

________________________________________________________________

When everyone had finished telling their stories, Chloe’s involving a lot of screaming, and Max’s with a lot of research and crazy stories about celebrities, a shrill chime went off of Alya’s phone. 

She looked down. “OMG!” She breaths, and everyone perks up. Maybe Ladybug and Chat Noir would be able to stop the akuma that did this to them! “A bank robbery is going down.” Everyone deflates a little.

“So?” Nino asks.

“_So?_” Alya practically screams. “Chat Noir and Ladybug are going to be there.” Marinette and Adrien both tensed up. 

Marinette laughs nervously. “I mean… they can’t be expected to go after… every criminal in the city…”

“But they always do.” Sabrina says, and everyone (except for Lila) agree.

Adrien’s lip quivers, and he raises his hand. “May I… go to the… bathroom?” He says in a strangled voice. Mml. Bustier allows him out.

“Um… Mml. Bustier? May I go to the nurse?” Marinette asks softly.

“Me too!” Ivan moans.

Mml. Bustier allows them both out of the room, and Marinette was unbelievably happy that Ivan was in so much pain that he didn’t even notice that Marinette didn’t go with him.

She quickly said the words that Tikki told her. How Tikki knew Plagg’s transformation words, she’d ask later.

As she jumped out of the building, the baton went off.

“Hey… M’lady?” Her voice filled the phone. “How do you detransform?” 

“Um…” She breaths, still not fully comprehending just who her partner is. 

“I can’t be you in a skin-tight outfit!” 

She wanted to be sympathetic… she really did. But she just couldn’t. “Your costume is so comfortable!”

“I feel naked. Look up,” She did, and saw Ladybug standing on top of the school. “Am I naked?”

Marinette sighs, placing a hand on her hip, and feels it slip inside… “You have pockets!?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Rose's Morning, look here: https://gataclism.tumblr.com/post/186178958736/body-swap-au-may-or-may-not-be-one-of-the-best


	4. Chapter 2.5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We didn’t go through everyone’s morning in the last chapter… Mwahaha!
> 
> (WARNING: Nathalie is probably, like, way ooc, but I like the version I wrote)

Nathalie had to actively stop herself from barging into the room when no akuma had been reported.

She was most likely just overreacting. It could be one of those akumas that stayed in one place where no one could report them… but Ladybug and Chat Noir always managed to find anyway. Maybe it was a low-level akuma, one that was hardly considered a threat, like akumatizing Mr. Pigeon… _again_. Or maybe he’d akumatized Lila again. She was particularly stubborn, and if she was Volpina again, people might not even be aware of the akuma yet.

No. She would wait for him to come out. She would not rush into the butterfly room. 

It was several hours later when she heard a rumbling sound from the room. At first she just figured that some of the butterflies were causing a revolution again. But then she realized that it was a voice. Her boss’s voice to be exact.

“HOW DO I GET OUT OF HERE!” He yells.

Nathalie finally caved. She pressed the exact buttons that she needed to, and found herself face-to-face with…

“Nooroo?” She asks skeptically. 

The little kwami smiled at her, a smile that she never thought the little thing was capable of.

He gestured his head back, and she saw Gabriel glaring around the room at all of the butterflies. So, typical Gabriel behavior.

“M. Agreste?” She asks softly.

Gabriel looks up. “Well… you’re close…” He sighs. “Mme. Agreste.”

Nathalie’s eyes widen. “Emilie?” 

“Nathalie.” She sighs, and smiles, a small, very Emilie smile. 

Nathalie smiles back, and then her eyes widen, because if Emilie was awake… then Gabriel was…

“He really has to start being more selective with his akumas.” She groans. 

Emilie stares at her, sighing. “I have to go back to where I was… don’t I?” 

“Unless you want to be Gabriel for the rest of your life.” Nathalie murmurs, and then her eyes widen, “We have to keep this under wraps with Adrien. He can’t know that you are… you…”

“Why not?” Emilie says, eyes widening. 

Nathalie stares at her. “Because… Adrien doesn’t exactly know where you were. If you suddenly show up now, it’s going to raise a lot of questions! And then he’s going to ask where Gabriel is, and… there are a lot of things he can’t know right now…” She looks up at Nooroo. “You ready to call the akuma back?” 

Nooroo says, with a completely serious face. “No.”

“No?”

“No. I’m not telling you my call words. I’m not transforming. Neither of you are my actual master.”

Nathalie takes a deep breath, getting ready to get angry, when her alarm goes off. “Crap.” She sighs, and then looks apologetically at Emilie. “I have to go wake up Adrien.”

“Oh! Can I do it!” She asks brightly. Nathalie grimaces. It was incredibly strange to see Gabriel actually interested in spending time with his son.

She sadly shakes her head. “I told you. We shouldn’t do anything out of the ordinary.”

“But I always wake up Adrien.” She says, and then stares at Nathalie. “What does Gabriel do?”

“I don’t think it is in his best interest to have this conversation without him present.”

Emilie purses her lips. “Then give me the basics.”

Nathalie sighs. “Isolation, piano, and for a short time, homeschool.”

“But Adrien hates piano,” Emilie laments, and Nathalie nods. “Well, does Adrien at least have friends?”

Nathalie nods. “Yes, he does! But Gabriel doesn’t let him see them, except for one… who’s not really his friend, and who lies about everything.”

Emilie’s eyes flash. “This is the least of what he’s done?”

Nathalie scrunches up her face. “Yes, but don’t get Gorilla started with it. He’s… a little emotional,”

“But… Gorilla doesn’t speak.” Emilie says blankly, and Nathalie winces at the fire burning in her eyes.

“Yeah… I really should get Adrien off to school,” Nathalie murmurs, and brings Emilie to the exit. 

Before they leave, Emilie turns to Nooroo, “You can take your time off, Nooroo.” She breaths, and Nathalie groans, because Emilie Agreste was scarier than her husband when it came to Adrien.

As they finally entered the office, Emilie staring at the picture of her that leads to the entrance to the butterfly room, Nathalie tries to make a hasty escape.

“Oh!” Emilie calls out, and Nathalie stops. “Send Gorilla to me after he drives Adrien to school.”

Nathalie deflates. “Yes, maam.” She sighs.

She probably should feel a lot more sympathy for her boss, she thinks as she leads Adrien to the car that morning. But, just one look at the boy’s ashen face tells her that Gabriel will get what’s coming for him.


	5. Chapter 3

“Crap!” Alya groans, as she stares at her phone. 

“Language, Alya.” Mme. Bustier murmurs. 

Alya blushes, “Sorry. It’s just that someone else is capturing the video for Ladybug and Chat Noir.”

“Ooh!” Rose gushes, “Can we see it?” 

Everyone turns to Max, who sighs, and– don’t ask him how– manages to get the video to play at the front of the class. 

Ladybug is standing there, her arms crossed over her torso… or more like hovering over. Chat Noir stood a little to her left, looking even more confident than usual. That was saying something.

“Stop right there!” He yelled, and then furrows his brow. “You know, it’s weird hearing your voice say something that is serious.”

Ladybug shudders, “Don’t look at me.”

Both Chat Noir and the burglars give her judgemental looks. 

“OMG!” Alya squeals. “Chat Noir and Ladybug switched bodies!”

Max sighs, “Poor dude. Having to wear that onesie in public.”

Alix whips her head around, “But she can?”

Nino shrugs, “If she wanted to change it, she could.”

“How do you know that?” Juleka asks.

Nino’s eyes swivel around. “Uh… I heard it… in an… interview he made once…”

Alya nods, “And he never misses a Chat Noir interview.”

“Dude!” He hisses, and she rolls her eyes.

“OMG, look!” Kim yells, and everyone turned to the screen. 

Ladybug had started fighting the bad guys, while Chat Noir stood off to the side, arms still wrapped around himself. He suddenly rolled his eyes, and called, “Lucky Charm!”

A circle of ladybug print and a triangle cut out of it, had started falling from the sky, and Chat yelped and jumped out of the way.

“It’s camembert!” He yelled, and both Ladybug and the criminals all gave him a look.

“If you hate it so much, then why can you recognize it?” One of the robbers asked.

“From the three feet away.” The second one added.

Chat Noir looked at Ladybug for help, but she gave him the same blank look. “Your kwami doesn’t eat very old and expensive cheeses?”

Ladybug’s eyebrows shot up. “My kwami eats baked goods.”

He stared at her. “Why do I always get the short end of the stick?”

“You don’t always get the short end-”

“Well, you do have a better fan base than he does.” Robber One replied.

Alya slapped a hand over her heart, and aww’d.

Chloe rolled her eyes. “Puh-lease! He’s obviously referring to me!”

Sabrina just barely managed to stop Alya from going after Chloe. 

Ladybug’s arms flailed. “Well… you do have… Carapace and his weird crush on you.” 

Nino’s face darkened in a blush.

“His what?” Chat asks. “I thought he was dating Rena!”

Ladybug shrugs. “Well, yeah. It’s more like a celebrity crush.”

“Oh!” Chat says. “You mean like Queen Bee has on you!” 

“Exac-” Ladybug stops, her own face darkening, and her lips pursing. “Can we just arrest these robbers?”

Everyone turns to look at Chloe who looks around the room at all of them, unapologetically. 

“What am I supposed to do with the lucky charm? Eat it and throw it up on them?”

The robbers look at one another. “Look, you two obviously aren’t up for this. And… we’re kind of a little unprepared… so, maybe we could pick this up another time? When we’re both more prepared and you two can figure out your camembert problem.” Number 2 murmurs.

Chat nods. “Yeah. You two are really nice.”

Ladybug stares open mouthed at him. “What? No! They are not nice guys! They are just saying that they will move their robbery to another time!”

“Exactly! Another time! We have not actually done anything illegal yet!” 1 replies.

Ladybug’s eye starts to twitch, and she looks at all three men surrounding her. “I’m surrounded by idiots!” She yells. 

**********

The conflict ended with the cops arresting the robbers for conspiracy. The video didn’t end with that, though. It ended with Ladybug giving a long hour long lecture to Chat Noir about how you can’t let robbers go to commit more crimes. 

A few times some of the class had gotten confused, because it looked like Chat was yelling at Ladybugs. Something that was so uncharacteristic that it was laughable… if Sabrina didn’t have to stop Chloe from trying to bash Chat Noir on social media a few dozen times. 

Marinette and Adrien finally arrived back in class, funnily enough exactly when Ivan came back in class, clutching his stomach and still moaning a storm. Alya immediately began filling them in on the entire ‘fight’.

Marinette awkwardly chuckled, and then looked up front at Adrien. Her smile disappeared immediately, and she then went back to banging her head on her desk. 

“What the hell, girl?” Alya asks.

“Language, Mme. Cesaire!” Mme. Boustier reprimands. 

“Sorry.” She says, not sounding sorry at all.

The lunch bell goes off, and Mme. Boustier sighs a long suffering and relieved sigh. “Please, everyone, go to lunch.” 

The entire class complies, staying in a large group… all except for Lila who goes off in a huff. 

“There has to be a way to reverse this!” Juleka groans, looking miserably down at her assortment of pinks. 

Alya tilts her head. “Well, maybe if we all kiss agai-

She was cut off as Ivan rushed at Mylene, kicked her in the shins, and kissed her. When they broke apart, Ivan let out a wail. “It didn’t work.”

Alix was smiling wide, sure she wouldn’t remember this… but it was a show to die for. 

“Uh…” Adrien murmurs softly to Marinette, and everyone, except for Marinette, turn to look at him. “Can we talk?” He says quieter. It doesn’t stop the entire class from ‘oohing’.

Marinette gives a small, barely there, nod. They both walk away from the group, and it takes a lot of will and Ivan, Nino, and Kim to stop anyone from going after them. (And by anyone, I mean Alix and Alya… mostly Alya)

**********

“So…” Adrien starts when they finally find an uncrowded area to take a seat.

“Yeah.” Marinette sighs, pretending with all her might that this wasn’t Adrien that she was talking to, so she pretends that she’s looking into a mirror. “What are you wearing?”

“HA!” A little, familiar voice squeaks from the hoodie’s pocket. Tikki’s body floats out, and laughs in Adrien’s face. “Told ya so!” 

A grumble came out of Marinette’s own pocket. “Plagg! What the…” Tikki takes a deep, steadying breath. “Do you think you’re doing?”

Plagg’s mouth drops open. “Oh, come on! Not even this idiot is stupid enough to have not figured it out!” 

Tikki shrugs her small frame. “They both saw each other almost completely in costume once, and neither suspected a thing. In fact, Alya’s brought up the possibility of Adrien being Chat Noir twice, and Marinette brushed her off both times.”

“Oh, come on, Pig Tails! I thought you were better than that!” Plagg yelled at her. Adrien sighs, and then reaches into one of Marinette’s pockets. He pulls out a wallet, and in that wallet he pulls out a thin slice of what Marinette believes to be cheese. Both Tikki and Adrien gag at the new development, but Plagg rushes forward and takes the cheese from Adrien’s hand. 

“Mhm.” Adrien murmurs. “”And we’re going to be talking about that Lucky Charm later.” Plagg mimics talking, and flies back into the hoodie. 

Marinette turns to her own kwami. “Tikki, can we have a moment?” She asks softly.

“Sure.” She answers, making no effort to move. Marinette widens her eyes, and cocks her head. “What? I’m apart of this as much as both of you!”

“Would you rather we talk about who you switched bodies with?” Marinette asks, and Tikki pouts. 

“You make one mistake 700 years ago…” She murmurs as she floats back into Marinette’s pockets. 

“Your kwami is adorable.” Adrien murmurs. 

Marinette nods softly. “Plagg’s pretty cool, too.”

They sit in uncomfortable silence for a little bit. “This makes absolutely no sense.” Adrien murmurs.

Marinette flushes, and she glares a little bit at Adrien. “That I could be Ladybug?”

“No, that you let Chloe keep being Queen Bee.” Adrien answers. “Very unexpected, but what can I say? Your personality has always been very bee-utiful.”

Marinette sighs deeply. “Of course you’re Chat Noir.” She murmurs quietly.

The bell rings again and they stare at each other. “Well…” Adrien sighs. 

“Yeah.” Marinette answers. “I guess we should get to class. Talk later?”

“Yeah,” Adrien answers. “Oh, wait!” He exclaims. “Do you want your phone back?”

Marinette looks down at it. “No. We should keep each other’s phones to stop any confusion. This is my password.” She then proceeds to show him her passcode, and Adrien shows her his. 

“Wow,” He breaths. “You have a lot of messages from Alya.” Marinette smiles as she walks away, and Alya runs up to her.

“Girl!” She yells as she wraps her in a hug. When she steps away, her eyes widen. “Where is your phone?” 

“Adrien has it, why?” 

Alya curses underneath her breath as she pulls out her own phone. “Crap, crap, crap.” She whispers.

“Hey! Marinette! When did you have my phone?” Adrien calls. 

Alya looks up and stares. “Run, run, run!” Marinette yells, and they run all the way back to their class, finding the detention slips they were handed very much worth it when Adrien couldn’t find them to question them further. 

**********

All in all, Alix found it a very fun and eventful day. The only thing that she was upset about, was the fact that she had absolutely nothing to remember it by. As she walked into her room, side-stepping questions from her father about where her brother was by answering, ‘probably in a sarcophagus,’ she saw something on her bed. 

It was a large video camera with a note on it: **From me, to me!** And next to that was a CD case. Picking it up, Alix pressed it into her computer and watched the days events unfold. She smiled, and whispered, “Thank you, Future me!” 

However, what Alix didn’t know was that the CD had been edited. Alix had gotten the edited version, while the original copy was taken by Bunnix. To be enjoyed at a later time, about 12 years in the future, much to the embarrassment of a scarlet clad superhero and her matching kwami. 


	6. Chapter 3.5

Marinette was walking walking out of school when a familiar silver car honked. She looked up, but just continued on her way. That is, until Adrien's body guard got out of the car and started gesturing at her, and then to the vehicle. 

She was very confused, before remembering that she was still in Adrien's body, and nowhere in between the time that he'd dropped her off to school and she'd gotten out of it did she mention that she wasn't actually Adrien. 

"No! See, I'm not actually-" That was when 'her' phone went off. She looked at it. Read it a few times. Looked back up at the body guard, and then sighed. "Yeah. Alright. Let's... go home..."

**Marinette :): Can U pretty please pretend to be me?**

**Marinette :): My father can not know I'm not me!**

**Marinette :): PLEASE!**

* * *

When she got out of the car, Natalie was immediately there. She looked more put together than when Marinette had seen her in the morning, but still, when she saw her, her face tightened. _Does she know that I'm not Adrien!?!_ Marinette's brain ran wild.

But after Natalie took a deep breath, she gave Marinette a smile that the younger female had no idea she was capable of. It was actually more scary to see Natalie looking so fond, than when she had that detached robot face. 

"How was school, Adrien?"

"It was um-" Marinette cut herself off when noticing that she'd made her voice, Adrien's voice, deeper. "It was really good, Natalie." 

She smiled again, a slightly more forced smile. "Well, that is good." She cleared her throat and then looked down at her tablet. "Now, your Chinese tutor cancelled today. Something about him being out of his mind... and your substitue tutor can't come because he's out of town... so you don't have Chinese today."

"Great!" Marinette exclaims, smiling widely. After the shock of finding out Adrien was Chat Noir, all she wanted was to go and rest her eyes for a min-

"But, we have to test the new color schemes of the spring line to you, and then you have your mandatory work out session-"

Marinette put her hands up in protest, "You regulate hi- me to a mandatory workout session?"

"You requested them yourself, Adrien." She said looking puzzled. "When your father started making the swim collection."

"Right..." Marinette sighed, remembering the time when that was all that covered her walls. Tikki had been both annoyed at Marinette, and pissed that a father would make their child pose shirtless for profit. After that, Marinette had taken all of those pictures down and deleted all the ones on her phone. 

"And then you have dinner, and..." she paused, and Marinette was wondering if she could pass with going to bed early. "Then we have your hour for homework, and after that extra study time, until 10."

_No wonder he barely paid attention in class, _she thought.

Marinette simply stared. "Um, Natalie?"

"Hmm?" 

"Is there any time I could... um... schedule some freak-out time?"

Natalie tilted her head, "Well, you do have the thirty minutes that Chinese lessons would've taken up... so I'll give you 20, and then get you 10 minutes before color tests."

"Thank you!" She exclaims, before running into the mansion, and immediately face-planting onto Adrien's bed. 

"You okay, Marinette?" Tikki asks softly.

Marinette groans. "Kwami, Tikki! No wonder the most fun he has is when he's fighting akumas!" 

"That's a problem for another day." Tikki said, a glare firmly planted on her face, before softening when she looked at Marinette. "But you only have twenty mintutes to freak out about today, so use this wisely."

Marinette nodded, and then started rocking back and forth.

"What's your crisis, Marinette?" Tikki asks softly.

"Well, I'm currently wondering if I should have a crisis about the fact that I rejected Adrien for Adrien, or that I couldn't tell that Chat was Adrien..."

"Okay, well-"

"Then I started worrying about the fact that I only have twenty minutes for this."

Tikki stared at her chosen. "So... you were having a crisis about having a crisis about which crisis to have." She deadpans.

"Yeah, I guess."

Tikki shakes her head. "You are a mess, girl."

"I know." Marinette says, nodding her head. Suddenly, she bursts up. "OH MY GOSH! If I'm having such a hard time, I wonder what it's like for Adrien!" 

* * *

"Wow, Marinette!" Marinette's mom (Dad) says. "You sure are hungry today!" 

"You got that right." Adrien answers, stuffing his face with more pastries. He even manages to sneak some more cheese into the bag that Plagg is resting in.

Sabine is standing to the side, lightly tapping her now giant foot. "Are you sure that you're okay, Marinette?"

Adrien nods, swallowing. He had kind of developed a bit of a fear of Mr. Dupain since the whole Were-dad incident. "Yeah! I'm fine m... Mom! It's just... that time of the month..." Adrien wasn't perfectly sure what that meant, but he heard his mom use the term a lot when she was still around. 

Sabine's face softens. "Okay, sweetie. You're well prepared, right?" She adds in an undertone.

Adrien nods, not truly knowing what that means. He can practically _hear_ Plagg rolling his eyes in the purse. "Actually, I'm a little tired. I think I'm gonna go to bed."

"Good night, sweetheart!" Both of her parents yell back.

Once Adrien enters the room, Plagg zooms out. "Are you ready to talk about it?"

Adrien groans, hitting his face on Marinette's desk. "Marinette is Ladybug. How did I not figure this out sooner!?" 

"I don't know. She looks exactly the same minus the mask. They both sound the same. She's always their when you finish fighting. You've referred to her as your everyday Ladybug. I'm surprised it took you so long, honestly."

"Not helping." Adrien grumbles.

"I'm not trying to help." Plagg shrugs. "So, are you going to finally give up on your thing for Ladybug?"

Adrien looks up. "Are you kidding! Now that I realize Marinette is Ladybug, I think I like her more than ever." He whispers, starry eyed.

Plagg groans, looking upwards. "Kwami, save me." He slaps his hand over his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After this chapter, the writing style will get a little different. 
> 
> I'll be writing them as if every chapter is Alix's video vlogs.
> 
> .5 chapters will be more of a thing, and usually focused on the love square when Alix can't see them... or so they think ;). Those will probably be called Bonus Scenes. 
> 
> I know this is weird, but bear with me.


	7. Day 2

**Day 2- 700 hrs**

"Stop it, Alya!" 

"Nope! I had no time to ask you yesterday, but I _need_ to know!"

"Can't you just let it go?" Marinette murmurs.

"Nuh-uh! You and Adrien _kissed_!" 

Marinette purses her lips. "I'm_ aware_, Alya."

"So just... tell me!" Alya groans.

"Fine, I- Alix! Get out of my face!" Marinette groans, gently pushing the camera away.

The camera moves with Alix's nodding motion, but she doesn't go any further away from Marinette and Alya. 

Marinette sighs. "So... it was during the first time Gamer attacked..."

"I love you, Max!" Alya yells towards the back of the classroom.

"Anyways..." Marinette sighs. "Um... Adrien tackled me when he came after us... and well... I just kind of pecked him. It was nothing much, and we _never _talked about it again." 

The camera starts shaking violently. "WHAT!?" The whole class asks.

Marinette looks around. "Were you _all_ listening?" 

"YES!" Everyone answer back. Marinette rolls her eyes.

The door opens, and Adrien runs in. "I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I OVERSLEPT!"

Mme. Bustier shrugs. "Yeah, well I'm used to it by now."

Almost everyone is in their seats. And right before the bell rings, Lila bursts into the room.

"Hello, people that I do not know!" She yells.

"What are you talking about, Lila?" Max asks. 

Lila sighs, placing a hand on her chest. "My name is not Lila! I am Josh! Lila's ex-boyfriend! We were going to do long distance, but she didn't want to hurt my heart, and let me go... we haven't shared another kiss since we were with each other."

Everyone awws at the story, utterly moving the topic off of Adrinette.

However, Adrien stands up in his seat. "Wait! So you are Lila's _ex-boyfriend_?"

"That's what I said!" Lila answers. 

"And she has no idea that you are here?"

Lila blinks a few times. "Well... once we switched... I mean... I'm sure she's all filled in by now..."

"And... you've been in her body for... what? A _day_ before you announced yourself?"

Lila shrugs, while the camera zooms back and forth between her and Adrien.

"And... are those clothes _different _from the ones you were wearing yesterday?" Adrien asks, placing his hands on his hips. The room suddenly grows tense. Lila just gulps. Adrien shakes his head. "If I wasn't a dude, we would be having some words."

"YOU'RE IN A GIRL'S BODY!" Alix points out.

"Mind your own business!" Lila snaps.

Adrien shrugs. "What do you say..._ Josh_?" 

Lila opens and closes her mouth a few times. "But... surely Mme. B- I mean, this random man I don't know, wouldn't approve of us fighting?" She looks at the teacher for help.

Bustier shrugs. "As long as it's not in my classroom, it's not my problem."

And that's how everyone ends up on the roof. 

Adrien is circling Lila. 

"You should know... I have mastered several years of martial arts." She says, raising her chin.

"You should know... this body has lifted a guy twice my size without breaking a sweat!" Adrien answers. 

Everyone stills for a second, looking at Marinette, before focusing back on the fight. 

Lila runs at Adrien, but he easily lifts her above his head, and body slams her to the ground. He then jumps on her a few times for good measure. 

Once he stands up, Lila still crumpled on the ground, Adrien looks down at his arms. 

He turns to a glazy eyed Marinette. He purses his lips together. "Do you... do you have abs?"

"What?" Marinette murmurs, blinking a few times. She swallows, before nodding dazedly. "Oh... yeah." She says.

And then she lifts her own shirt up, revealing Adrien's toned stomach.

Alix zooms in on her torso. "Damn, Agreste! I thought those were photo-shopped!" 

"Why does everyone say that?" A very red Marinette mumbles, quickly tugging her shirt down.


	8. Chapter 4.5

Marinette nervously taps her fingers on the Agreste's dining room table. 

She felt relieved that Gabriel Agreste wasn't downstairs with her. She wasn't sure how well her illusion would hold up when he was around. Not because she was sure he would know his son well enough to detect when he wasn't actually there. But, because he was easily intimidating enough to make Marinette get flustered. Or punch him. Either way, her cover would be done for.

"Um... Nathalie?" She asks, her voice tangled with nerves.

"Yes, Adrien?" The woman asks. Marinette was used to finding the woman scary. She talked like a robot, and Marinette didn't think she was capable of smiling. But the past two days, Nathalie had been an almost soothing presence for her.

She scratches the back of her neck. "I was wondering if I could go see a friend?" 

Marinette doesn't know why she was bothering with asking. She was pretty sure she already knew the inevitable answer. But, she _really _didn't want Adrien to get in trouble with his dad.

Nathalie freezes. "Which friend?" 

Marinette bites her bottom lip. "Um... I'm not sure if you know her name... she has black hair, and pigtails. Kind of clums-"

Nathalie sighs. "Yes, Adrien. You can go see Mme. Dupain-Cheng."

"I know it's last mi- Wait what?" Marinette asks.

"I said you can go see Mme. Dupain-Cheng. Gorille will drive you there as soon as you are finished with dinner." Nathalie says, before exiting the room.

Tikki lifts herself out of Marinette's pocket. "Well... _that_ was easy.

* * *

"Why are we doing this now?" Adrien asks, his eyes screwed tightly shut. 

He hears Marinette sigh. "Because we both barely get up early enough to get to school. Let alone, have Gorille drop me off here, and then get you dressed and ready too." She finishes, pulling a tank top on Adrien.

"Besides, I'd rather be seen around with slightly wrinkled clothes, then in my pijamas for a third day in a row. Now step in." She says, pulling out blue jeans.

She crouches down, helping Adrien step into the clothing garment. 

"Marinette! We baked you some-" The sentence was cut off by a large gasp, and the dropping of something metallic. 

Marinette turns her head to see her father (actually her mother) standing in her doorway. 

"MARINETTE DUPAIN-CHENG! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!" Her mom yells. 

"Mom! I'm sorry! I couldn't be seen in my pijamas one more day!" Marinette sighs.

Her mother raises an eyebrow. "Wait... Marinette?" She asks, pointing at her daughter.

Marinette nods. "Obviously, mom. Why don't yo-" Marinette turns angrily to Adrien. "YOU DIDN'T TELL THEM WHO YOU WERE!?!"

Adrien, his eyes still tightly shut, sighs. "I was going to, but then there were croissants, and cheese..." He trails off as if that was enough explanation. Marinette sighs, throwing her head into her palm.

This was such a Chat Noir move. 

"I'm really sorry, Mm. Dupain-Cheng. But, I couldn't go back home looking like this. I didn't mean to hoodwink you. I'm so very sorry." Adrien pleads, facing the direction of Marinette's chaise. The girl groans, and turns him around. 

"You can open your eyes, Adrien." Sabine says. 

Adrien asks, "Am I fully clothed?"

"Nope."

"Then I'd really rather not."

Sabine sighs. "You can stay, Adrien. Though, don't tell Tom. It's really a guess on how he'll react."

Adrien shudders, and murmurs under his breath, "And I really wouldn't want to relive _that_ again."

"What was that, dear?"

"Thank you so, so, so much, Mm. Dupain-Cheng." Adrien says again.

Sabine nods, leaving. "Just no funny business you two."

"Mom!" Marinette groans.

"Don't worry, she doesn't like my comedy anyway!" Adrien says seriously.

Both Marinette and Plagg facepalm at the exact same time.


	9. Day 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Hope you enjoy!

**Day 3-** 720** hrs**

"Nino!" Alya calls through the bathroom door. "Are you alright in there?"

A groan comes through the door. "God! Can't I get a _little _privacy?"

Alya rolls her eyes, pinching her nose. "Men." She murmurs.

"What's going on in there?" Kim asks, walking up to Alya.

She purses her lips. "He's trying to figure out tampons."

Kim shuffles on his feet, moving a little bit away from the bathroom door. "Fun." He whispers.

*

**Interview- Alya Cesaire**

"I'm not saying that I don't love Nino. I do." She says, pressing a hand to her chest. "But he's been so whiny!"

"I am a sympathetic person! I get it! It hurts! But pushing your problems onto me is_ not_ the answer!"

"Like, dude! Man up!" Alya groans. "Men!"

*

"Adrikins!" Chloe cries, running up to Marinette. 

Marinette glares Chloe down, and the girl slinks away, turning to the actual Adrien.

The boy, in Marinette's body, smiles at his long time friend. Chloe stares at him for a second before groaning, and stalking off.

Marinette starts cackling, and Adrien's eyes water. "What did I do wrong?" He asks.

*

**Interview- Chloe Bourgeois**

"I don't get what I'm doing here." She snaps, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Me and Sabrina were just playing around! Why does one thing have to affect _me?"_

_"So you're saying it was just a one time thing?" _

"Obviously!" 

*

A thumping on a nearby locker is heard, and the camera moves towards it. 

Alix's hand reaches out, and opens the contraption. 

Two girls, Chloe and Sabrina, roll out, arms wrapped around each other, and different colored lipstick coating their faces.

"Um... have you ever heard of privacy?" Chloe snaps, pulling Sabrina up, and going back into the locker.

Alix slowly moves backwards, before running away.

*

Alya comes into the classroom, and sees Marinette's body sobbing. "Mari!" She yelps. "What's wrong?"

"What- d- did I d-do wrong?" He gasps out.

Marinette rolls her eyes, impatiently tapping her foot. "He's upset because Chloe didn't hug him this morning."

Alya raises an eyebrow. "I thought you didn't like when she did that."

"That's not the point!" Adrien chokes out. 

"Men." Marinette, Alya, and Alix all sigh.

*

**Interview- Adrien Agreste**

_"So, what are you doing now that you're Marinette?"_

Adrien shrugs. "It's been nice, not gonna lie. Finally able to do whatever I want, whenever I want."

"But, I do miss some things." Adrien admits.

"I'm going to fencing today, so Marinette doesn't have to fight Kagami all by herself. That should be fun, and I'm kind of excited!"

*

"Yield?" Adrien asks, pressing his sabre to her chest.

Kagami sighs, her shoulders slumping. "Fine." She huffs.

Adrien helps her up. 

"I must say, your skills were quite good today." Kagami remarks. 

"Aw, thanks." Adrien says, lifting his helmet, and beaming at her.

Kagami freezes.

"Mari- Mari- Mari-" She murmurs, staring at Adrien.

He tilts his head. "You okay, Kagami?"

And then Kagami faints.

"KAGAMI!" Adrien yells, kneeling by her side. "Are you okay?"

She blinks, staring up at him. "I might need to rethink some things." She murmurs.

*

**Interview- Kagami Tsurugi**

"It's just... Marinette."

"She's... Marinette."

_"Technically, that was Adri-"_

"MARINETTE!" Kagami yells, jumping up. 

_"Okay, then..."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I finally finished. 
> 
> I'm on twitter as @agreste_dupain_ if any of you guys wanna look for me there! Anyways, hope you enjoyed, and see y'all next time <3<3<3


	10. Chapter 5.5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

"I can't do this anymore!" Chat whines, staring dejectedly at the circle of spotted camembert.

Ladybug groans, keeping the criminal that they'd just fought arms behind his body. "Just pick up the cheese!" She lowers her voice to the criminal. "Men, am I right?" 

Chat tiptoes towards round package, and nimbly it up. "Miraculous" He gags. "Lady- ladybug!" 

"You'd think you'd be used to the smell by now." Ladybug sighs, handing the criminal to officer Roger. "It's all over your room, your clothes, you even have some in you wallet!" 

Chat sighs. "That doesn't make it any less gross." 

"You lack taste." Ladybug says, rolling her eyes. "And that was the third camembert wheel in as many days." She crosses her arms. "We are never gonna get anything done if you keep getting all squeamish with the lucky charm!" 

"Well, then what are we gonna do?" Chat asks, looking at her with her own bright blue eyes.

Ladybug groans, lightly closing her eyes before snapping them open once more. "I have an idea!" 

* * *

"Hello?" Luka asks, opening up his door. Marinette and Adrien stand together, shoulder to shoulder. Or, more like elbow to shoulder. The point was, they were standing together outside his door. "What are you guys doing here?"

"We... need... your... help..." Marinette says slowly, her fingers twisting together.

"O...kay..." Luka says in a mock tone, raising an amused eyebrow. "Why are you talking so weird, Adrien?"

Adrien and Marinette give each other a look. An imperceptible nod. And then Marinette nods emphatically. "Yup. Yup. That's me. Adrien. I _do not_ own a black, leather cat suit."

Adrien glares at Marinette. "And I'm Marinette. I..." Adrien purses his lips. "Can not currently think of anything embarrassing about myself."

Luka raises an eyebrow at the pair. "_Anyways_, is there something you wanted to ask me?"

"Yes." The two say at the same time.

Marinette clears her throat. "Actually, I need something to be done under the radar, you're the only person that I can think of that can help me."

"Help with what?" Luka asks in anticipation.

Adrien hums. "Help with piercing my- her- _his_ ears."

* * *

Adrien bounces on the balls of his feet, biting his hails as he waits for the inevitable. "Is it done? Did you do it yet? Oh, gosh, it's gonna bleed. Oh!" Adrien wails, covering his eyes with his hands. "I can't watch!" 

"What are you worried about, I'm the one that is _actually _getting their ears pierced!" Marinette rolls her eyes at her partner. 

Adrien huffs. "I don't like needles, alright? I just get... antsy."

"Why do you need your ears pierced anyways?" Luka asks Marinette. "It's obviously not for a modelling thing, so what do you need a piercing for?"

"Rebellion. You know how it goes. Missing mom. Jerk dad. Overbearing body guard. Strict personal assistant. Normal teenage things." Marinette laughs nervously. Both of the boys give her odd looks. "Can we just run along with this?"

Adrien's breathing starts going rapid again. "Oh no! Oh no! I can't handle this! I _can't_ handle this!"

"You act like you didn't get your ears pierced before." Luka mutters, gesturing to the wholes in Marinette's bodies ears. 

Adrien bits his lip. "I..." He just trails off, shrugging. "I got nothing."

"It's done." Luka announces. 

"Wait, what?" Adrien asks. "But, I wasn't ready."

"You didn't _need_ to be ready!" Marinette berates. She stands up from the chair that Luka had instructed her to sit in, and lightly smacks Adrien on the arm. "Dumby." She giggles.

He sticks his tongue out at her. "You love it."

"When did you two get together?" Luka asks them. 

Both stand still, their eyes wide. The duo start spluttering.

"We-"

"We're not-"

"_Definitely not-_"

"What? Why? Who? Where? How?" 

Luka puts his hands out in surrender. "Sorry. I guess I just made an assumption."

Marinette flushes. "Well... it was a... wrong one." 

"Cool." Luka laughs. "But, now I have to get to band practice, if you guys wanna stay."

Adrien shakes his head. "We have to get going, actually. But, thank you so much, Luka! We really appreciate it! You have no idea how much trouble you have saved us."

Luka nods, walking out the door. "I think I might." He murmurs to himself. "I see the news."

* * *

"You ready?" Marinette asks, looking into her own eyes. Adrien nods, fiddling with his fingers.

They were sitting knee to knee on her bed.

"Yeah." Adrien answers.

"On the count of three." Marinette instructs, placing one of her hands out. "One."

"Two." Adrien continues. He places his own hand next to hers, and opens it up.

"Three!" They exclaim at the same time. Both of them grab the miraculous that were placed in the others' open palm. 

Adrien places the ring on his right hand. Marinette clips the earrings into her new piercings. Plagg and Tikki erupt from the miraculous', and sigh.

"_That_ was dramatic." Plagg sighs. 

Marinette rolls her eyes. "It was necessary." 

Plagg shrugs. "Whatever, at least I'm going back to a house where I can get camembert 24/7."

Tikki runs into Marinette's cheek, and squeezes. Her version of a hug. "I'm gonna miss you, Mari!" 

Marinette puts a hand on Tikki's back. "I'm gonna miss you too! Remember to brush your teeth, and..."

As Marinette and Tikki remind each other to continue their routines while they aren't with each other, Plagg turns to Adrien. "See ya."

"Bye." Adrien respond, putting a single finger out, and bumping it with Plagg's fist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that it was proved that Adrien doesn't need his ears pierced, but I liked this detail :)
> 
> Maybe check out some of the oneshots I recently posted. I have a new story called Into The Unknown. Of course, you can always check out my Twitter, @agreste_dupain_, if you wanna check out some other stories of mine.
> 
> Until next time <3<3<3


	11. Day 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back...
> 
> ENJOY!

**Day 4- 800 hrs**

Alix walks through the hallways, before coming across a trash can. The can was moving strangely, and she walks closer. Peaking the lens into the lid, she comes across Chloe and Sabrina together.

"Can I ever get privacy!" Chloe hisses, putting her hand to the lens. 

Alix runs away from the can, coming across Max and Kim. Max looked like he could care less about the strange trash can incident. Kim, however, was glaring at where Chloe and Sabrina were, his arms crossed.

*

**Interview- Le Chien Kim**

"I'm just saying! Chloe won't even admit that they're together! And they keep popping up all over the school."

_"Are you jealous?"_

"No! What would I have to be jealous of? I just have to up my game!" 

*

"Kim, do you have an extra pencil that I can borrow?" Max asks the boy during study hall.

Kim grabs the boy by his face, and kisses him hard on the mouth. Max's eyes are wide for a second, before leaning in to his boyfriend. 

Nino, who was sitting right next to them, stares with his mouth open. "Um, dudes? You guys _do_ realize that I'm right here, right?"

Neither boy responds, just continues kissing. 

Nino looks at the camera, and mouths, 'Help me!'.

*

**Interview- Penny Rolling**

_"So, how has this whole situation been for you?"_

Penny just stares at the camera, her face completely natural.

"My boss is a crocodile. How do you think I am?"

*

Adrien and Nino are washing their hands when a gut-wrenching cry comes from the stall behind them.

The two boys give each other questioning looks before heading to the stall. "Hello?" Adrien asks softly, knocking on the door.

"Marine- Oh, Adrien." A voice that sounds like Mylene calls out. Ivan.

"Ivan, what's wrong, buddy?" Nino calls. 

Ivan lets out another mewl. "I-I-"

Nino gently takes ahold of the handle of the stall. "Do you want- _help_?" 

Ivan weeps a little bit. "I- I'm bleeding!" He admits.

Nino immediately steps away from the door, his face going pale. "What is it with my luck today?" He questions himself.

Adrien, however, doesn't look put off. "Do you want me to get you a band-aid? Maybe you can let me in, and I can help apply it!" Ivan immediately quiets, and Nino gives Adrien a look. "What?" The poor boy asks innocently. 

Nino puts a comforting hand on Adrien's shoulder. "Honey, no." He whispers.

"Adrien, baby. Are you okay?" Ivan asks through the stall. 

"You can't put a band-aid where he's bleeding." Nino informs Adrien, gently steering him towards the door.

Adrien's eyebrows furrow. "What? Why? Where is it?"

Nino leans towards Adrien's ear. He whispers the word into Adrien's ear, and Adrien immediately jumps back. "NO! I AM _NOT_ GOING TO TOUCH THERE!" He shrieks, before running out of the bathroom.

"Wow." Ivan mutters. "Just wait until _he_ has to go through it too."

Nino nods. "Yeah. Hey, buddy, do you need me to ask Mylene for an extra-"

"_Please_!"

*

**Interview- Nathaniel Kurtzburg**

"I- I am Nathaniel!" His voice is strangely high pitched.

_"I know."_

"Y- Yes! I am an artist that used to have a crush on Marinette! Uh-huh! That is me!"

_"Okay..."_

"Nobody else. Just me. Nathaniel."

_"I asked you if you liked pepperoni on your pizza."_

*

"So, how's it going with you and Adrien?" Alya giggles, tossing a crouton at Marinette's face.

"Nowhere." Mari mumbles, taking a bite of her macaroon.

"WHAT!?!" Alya screeches, and everyone turns their heads towards the two girls. Alya moves her head down, making her voice softer. "What?"

Marinette looks around, obviously not noticing the camera focused on her. "We're... just friends. It isn't going anywhere else. We're both going through some things. I doubt anything is going to escalate."

Alya glares at her best friend. "I hate you." She hisses.

The camera bobs in agreement.

*

**Interview- Kagami Tsurugi**

"I thought that it was time to finally branch out. Join some new clubs. This particular one was looking for new members, so I decided to join. No other reasons."

*

**The Marinette Protection Squad**

"Welcome to this week's meeting!" Alya calls to the other members. "We have a new member!"

Kagami stands nervously besides Alya. Her hands are wringing together, and she keeps glancing towards Adrien. "Um, why is Marinette in her own club?" She mumbles.

Adrien raises an eyebrow, before laughing. "What? Oh, no! I'm Adrien, remember?"

"Oh. Yeah, right." Kagami answers, finally dropping her tense posture.

Alix stands at the side of the room, her camera scanning the members.

Alya and Adrien stood at the front, the co-presidents. Kagami stood next to them, as she was the newest member of the club.

Alix moves the camera to- Chloe?!? "Chloe?" She breathes.

She shakes her head. "No. Sabrina." She chirps, waving excitedly.

"Why?"

"She was nice to me once." Sabrina answers, lightly shrugging her shoulders.

Alix finally points to the last member. Marc. "Hey, Mar-" She stops, zooming the camera towards the t-shirt he was wearing. It said: I AM NATHANIEL.

Her head flies up. "NATHANIEL!" She shrieks.

Nathaniel nods, a brilliant smile on his face. Alix runs out of the classroom that the club was using.

"MARC! YOU SOB! I AM COMING FOR YOU!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I'm trying to get back into normal updates. I should be updating every three or four days if things go acccordingly.
> 
> Until next time <3<3<3


	12. Chapter 6.5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, y'all! Enjoy!

"Are you okay now?" Marinette asks Adrien. He was sitting on her bed, still shivering.

"Where was the blood coming from?" He asks, his voice high pitched. 

Marinette hesitates, before shaking her head. "That's a job for the health teacher."

Adrien nods, his face still pale. 

"Now, I need you to get up. We have to head to the boat." She says, gently patting his knee.

Adrien nods again, getting to his feet shakily. 

"You okay there, bud?" Marinette asks, placing a gently hand on his shoulder.

He nods, leaning into her touch. "Yeah, I'm great. Let's get going."

* * *

Marinette had her eyes on Adrien as he plays the keyboard. 

Kitty Section had asked him to help them with their newest song, and he had graciously agreed. Marinette had come with him, first of all for moral support to the band, but mostly in case Adrien had to go to the bathroom while he was there.

It was awkward enough when they were only classrooms apart.

Alya gently elbows Marinette, and raises an eyebrow at her. She had probably been staring, and she feels her cheeks heat up.

The song finishes up, and the band high fives. Mylene claps Adrien on the shoulder, making his knees buckle. Ivan immediately rushes to sit down, his head going straight to his hands.

Adrien moves over to Marinette and Alya, a broad grin covering his face.

"That was so much fun." He gushes.

"It looked like it. What do you say, Marinette? Were _you _paying attention." Alya asks, winking at her friend.

Adrien remains blissfully oblivious, turning his face to Mari. 

"Um, yeah! It- it looked awesome! I kinda- wish that I knew how to play." She murmurs, her face growing only redder.

Adrien's eyes light up, and he rushes to his feet. "Why don't I teach you a few things?"

"What?" Marinette asks, her voice pitching higher.

"Yeah! I can show you a few notes! Come on!" He was grabbing at her hands.

"Yeah, Mari! He can show you a few notes!" Alya giggles, a devious smirk forming on her lips.

Marinette mouths curse words that would make her mother faint at her best friend, as Adrien drags her towards the keyboard.

Marinette stands in front of the instrument, Adrien standing behind her. In her body, he was quite shorter than her, and couldn't quite get his arms fully around her.

He laughs. "I didn't quite think this through. Hold on, give me a second."

Adrien adjusts them, so that Marinette is behind him. She circles her arms around him, placing her fingers onto the closest keys.

He grabs her hands. He moves them to different keys, instructing her of which one she is pressing, but Marinette isn't really listening. She just can't seem to focus, what with the fact that she is standing so close to her crush. Even if he wasn't in his own body.

A distance away, Kagami and Luka are standing next to each other.

"They're really... sweet together." Kagami murmurs, her lips pursing together.

Luka nods. "Yeah. Though, I can't help but be jealous of them."

"Which one?" 

Luka considers for a second. "Both."

Kagami hums. "Understandable."

Everyone stays in quiet companionship, before an explosion can be heard in the distance.

Marinette and Adrien give each other knowing looks, before racing to the bathroom. 

* * *

"Hurry up!" One of the robbers instructs to the other. "We never know when they'll show up!"

The man picking the lock scoffs. "Please! They've been so lost since the whole body switching thing! They'll never catch us!"

"Don't say that! You'll jinx us! After all, they are-"

Two figures land behind the criminals. The two men whirl around.

"Uh- who are you?" The guy that had been picking the lock asks.

"Mister Bug-"

"And Lady Noir!" 

The robbers stare blankly at the two superheroes. "Those aren't exactly original." The second man murmurs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're actually getting pretty close to the end! Who would've thought! 
> 
> Until next time <3<3<3


	13. Day 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had no idea what to post for this chapter, ngl! We are so close to the end!
> 
> Enjoy!

**Day 5- 1000 hours**

Ms Bustier was reading, as the rest of the class was in a study hall. 

Alix pans over to Lila, who was sitting alone, staring blankly at some book in her hands. It read "Redemption Arcs For Dummies" on the cover.

Sabrina was doing schoolwork, while Chloe was filing at her nails.

Alya was looking between Adrien and Marinette, giving both of them dirty looks.

Suddenly, a creaking sound came from the ceiling. 

An air vent swings open, and Max and Kim fall out, wrapped in an embrace.

Everyone stares at them, their eyes wide.

Kim just smirks, and winks at the camera.

*

**Interview- Le Chien Kim and Max Kante**

"I'm not_ saying_ it's a competition..." Kim starts. "But we won." He finishes, gently nudging a blushing Max.

"Uh huh." Max murmurs

*

Adrien and Nino were sitting together at lunch. 

The model had his head pressed into the crook of his best friend's neck. His eyes were teary, and his breathing was ragged.

Nino gently rubs Adrien's back. "It's okay. It's okay. I got you, bro."

Chloe walks up to them. "What's up with him?" She asks Nino.

"He doesn't smell like camembert anymore." Nino murmurs, and Adrien's sobbing becomes worse.

"I thought you hated the smell of cheese." Chloe asks, raising an eyebrow.

Adrien looks away, his eyes red. "That's not the point!" 

Nino wraps his arms around Adrien's shoulders, soothing him. "I know, buddy. I know."

Alix murmurs from behind the camera at the same time that Chloe does, "Men."

*

**Interview- <strike>Marc Anciel</strike>** **The Dead Man**

"I said that I was sorry, Alix!" Marc pleads

_"..."_

"I just didn't want to make things awkward! We are still so new!"

_"..."_

"You can't stay silent forever!"

_"..."_

"Or... maybe you can."

*

Lila was laughing jovially in her desk. Her book lay forgotten next to her, a few pages ripped out of it.

Most people were staying away from her, looking incredibly uncomfortable by the disruption she was causing.

"Adrien," Lila says, grabbing the boy's attention.

He looked tired, and didn't seem to be very happy to have to talk to the girl.

"I honestly don't see what you see in Marinette." She says.

Alya whirls on the girl. "Excuse me?" 

Alix takes on of the pages on Lila's desk that says, "TELL THE TRUTH".

Marinette just stays in her seat, her head tilted to the side.

"Also, I kind of only 'like' you, for your money and influence!" She giggles.

"Are you having some sort of stroke?" Kim asks.

Lila shrugs. "No! I just like attention, and figured this was the best way!" 

Everyone in the class blinks, as Lila goes to the restroom.

Marinette glares at the girl, and grabs a ruler off of her desk. "I think... I need to go too."

Adrien stays still for a second before his eyes go wide. "Wait! No, Marinette! I can't wait for you in jail!" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are about five more chapters after this, maybe more, maybe less.
> 
> Until next time <3<3<3


	14. Chapter 7.5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started school today... so I'm glad I managed to get this chapter out ToT
> 
> I also took out the Lukagami tag, sorry for any Lukagami fans. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Marinette was sitting at the Agreste's dining table, trying to force her meal down her throat as quickly as possible. She didn't want to be in this lonely room longer than she needed to be. 

She heard some talking from the other side of the door, and inclines her head as if that would make her hear any better.

"Are you sure about this... _sir_?" She thinks she hears Nathalie say.

Another voice, one that sent chills down her spine. "Yes. _Quite._ I want to see my son."

And Marinette was pretty sure that was when she began freaking out. 

Or, was it when the doors opened up a second later, and the one and only Gabriel Agreste entered. Fashion designer, loner, and irresponsible parent galore.

A smile lit up his face, and it somehow made Marinette feel more nervous than before. "Adrien!"

"Hello... father." She says, making her voice deeper. 

_Wait, why am I doing that? That's weird! Stop_. She berates herself.

Gabriel doesn't seem to notice (which is far from the chorus), and takes a seat right next to Marinette. 

"It's so good to see you! I haven't seen you in so long!" He gushes.

_You would see him more if you didn't lock yourself in your office all the time_, Marinette thinks, taking another bite of her dinner.

"Yup..." She murmurs.

They sit in awkward silence for a little longer. Marinette staring down at her dinner plate, Gabriel watching her with anxious eyes, and that creepy smile on his face.

Marinette looks down at the last thing on her plate. A small piece of bread. 

"Um..." She hums, grabbing Gabriel's attention. She points behind him and shouts, "Look over there!"

She grabs the bread, and hands it to Plagg in her pocket. She feels him finish the roll in two bites.

"What?" Gabriel asks, still looking over his shoulder.

"Oh, must've been nothing. Funny. Anyway, I'm finished." Marinette says, showing her clear plate. "I think I'm going to go to my room."

Gabriel's face falls. "Oh..." He mutters. "Alright, then."

Marinette nods, tucking her chair in, and walking to the door.

"Before you go! I was wondering if you had... um... had any run ins with this Hawkmoth character? Any where you were in particular danger..."

Marinette whirls around, heading back to the table, and taking her previous seat. "Oh! You have _no _idea!"

* * *

"And I mean... he's just such an idiot, you know?" Marinette asks.

Her and Gabriel were on Adrien's couch, digging into tubs of ice cream. She was wrapped in a pink blanket, and Gabriel had a white flower patterned blanket pulled to his chin.

Gabriel nods. "Yes. You seem to care quite deeply for this Chat Noir fellow."

Marinette nods, desolately taking another bite of mint chocolate chip ice cream. "Well... yeah! He's my partner! I don't want to keep watching him sacrifice himself for _me_! Does he realize that I can't do any of this without him?"

After Marinette had ranted to Gabriel for an hour about every time _Adrien _had been in danger, she'd started adding all of the times _Chat Noir _had put himself into danger. Gabriel was listening intently for someone that lacked knowledge of basic human interaction.

"I think," Gabriel says, placing his tub of chocolate ice cream aside. "You should tell him how you feel!"

Marinette tilts her head. "So smart. So easy. So un-complicated..."

"No wonder neither of you have figured it out..." Plagg grumbles from in Marinette's pocket. She hits him.

"What if he doesn't feel the same?" She asks Gabriel.

"Didn't you say that he literally confessed his love for you over fifty times?"

"Well yeah..."

Gabriel raises an eyebrow. "Men are idiots! If you don't say something, he's never gonna figure out how _you _feel about him!"

Marinette straightens up. "You're right! Men _are _idiots!"

Gabriel nods, patting her knee. "Well this has been a very nice evening, Adrien."

Marinette straightens, her mouth dropping open. Right. She was _Adrien_.

"I should get going. Thank you for talking with me."

"No, _thank you_... Father."

* * *

Emilie walks out of Adrien's room, and heads straight to Gabriel's office. 

"Nathalie! I must speak with you immediately!" 

Nathalie follows her into the office, and Emilie takes a seat at Gabe's desk.

"I just had a very interesting conversation with Adrien."

Nathalie raises an eyebrow. "Really?"

Emilie nods. "Yes, and a most distressing thought has occured to me." She pulls up a picture on Gabriel's computer, and swivels the monitor to show Nathalie. "Nathalie... you don't think... Adrien could be Ladybug?"

Nathalie stares at the picture, and then at Emilie. She blinks a few times, and then throws her head into her hands. "I don't get paid enough for this!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this was my most brilliant chapter yet, ngl.
> 
> Until next time <3<3<3


	15. Day 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally back! School has been EXHAUSTING, sorry!

**Day 6- 700 hrs**

Alya and Marinette walk towards the front doors of the school.

"So, what do you have planned today?" Alya asks her best friend, glaring at the camera that was following them.

Marinette shrugs, her cheeks heating up. "This and that..."

"But, like, _specifically,_ what are you doing?"

"What would you want me to be doing?"

Alya shrugs innocently. "Oh, I don't know. Let's say... _hypothetically _you're gonna tell a certain boy that you are seriously head over heels for him. Would you be planning to do that today...?"

Marinette gives a definite nod. "Actually, I am."

Alya groans. "I _knew _I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up! I love you, girl, but sometimes you can be a real cow- Wait what?" Alya stops, turning to stare at Mari. "Did you say... _yes_?"

Marinette nods again, a small smile forming on her lips.

Alya just stares, her breath quickening. She was making little snorting sounds with every breath. "Alya?" Marinette asks, placing a hand on the girl's shoulder. Alya makes a squealing sound, and faints.

"ALYA!" Marinette screams, rushing to the girl's side.

*

**Interview- Alya Cesaire**

"I just can't believe it! After all this time! My ship is finally sailing! Like the... what's a famous boat that went sailing?"

_"The Titanic?"_

Alya glares at the camera, before bringing her hands to her face. "Or! Like a ghost pirate ship! Finally coming out of the wreck!"

_"Alya, I don't mean to burst your bubble, but you _do _know that this all depends on Marinette _actually _going through with it and telling Adrien how she feels. Right?"_

The girl just stares blankly at the screen, before tears well into her eyes. "We're _doomed_!"

*

"Yeah, so we had _pastries_, and _macaroons, _and Alix please get your camera out of my face." Adrien says turning to the camera. 

Nino, who had been sitting next to the boy, shudders. "Good! You saw her too! I was beginning to think that I was seeing things."

"Why are you staring at me?" Adrien asks Alix, an eyebrow raised.

"I-" Alix says, moving the camera towards Marinette and Alya. Marinette kept glancing back at Adrien, before blushing and turning away. Alya was glaring at her best friend, not taking her eyes off of her.

"Nothing." Alix groans. 

"Then why are you still here?" Adrien asks, even his saint-like patience seemed to be wearing thin.

Alix shakes her head. "Just in case the impossible happens, I ain't missing a thing. Do you _know _how many people would kill me?"

*

Adrien was walking down the hall, holding his books close to his chest. It was lunch time, and he was in a rush. He didn't even seem to mind the camera that had been following him around since the beginning of the day.

"Adrien!" A voice echoes down the hall, louder than the murmurs of the retreating body of students. Adrien whirls around, and his whole face brightens when he sees Marinette rushing towards him.

"Marinette! What's up?" He asks, tilting his head at her.

The camera moves behind some bushes, before zooming in on Marinette and Adrien.

"S-s-so I h-h-ha-had som-some-something I wa-wanted to tell you!" Marinette stutters out, clenching her fists and stuffing them into her pockets.

"O-o-okay!" Adrien light-heartedly mocks. 

Marinette lets out an awkward chuckle, and rubs the back of her neck. "Right. I had an eye opening talk with someone yesterday, and I got the courage to do something I've been wanting to do for a... _very _long time!"

Adrien nods. When Marinette doesn't continue, he smiles. "You're making me kind of nervous. What's up?"

She takes a deep breath. "Adrien... I like you."

Adrien just blinks a few times. "Okay. Is that it?"

"What do you mean? Aren't you surprised?"

"I already knew." Adrien shrugs, smiling.

"You did?" Marinette squeaks, her cheeks turning red.

"Yeah, and I like you too, Marinette!"

"YOU DO!?!" 

Adrien nods, raising an eyebrow at her. "Of course! You're one of my best friends!" 

Marinette's mouth drops, and she stares at Adrien blankly. Alix slaps a hand on her forehead in the bush.

Marinette looks like she was just going to leave things as they were, and just leave him, but she shakes her head. "No, Adrien! I _like you like you_!" 

"I like you like you too, Mari! I don't get how the extra like you changes the meaning!" 

The girl just blinks at him, her face turning red for a whole new reason now. "You- you don't get what I'm trying to say!"

"Then what are you trying to say?" He asks, looking around as if the answer would be written on the nearest wall.

"I'm- I'm trying to tell you that- that-" Marinette groans, throwing her hands out in frustration. She glares at Adrien, and before anyone can process what was happening, Marinette snakes her arms out around Adrien's waist, and kisses him.

Adrien squeaks, dropping the books he was holding. His eyes flutter shut, and he wraps his arms around Marinette's shoulders. 

The camera goes slack in Alix's hand.

Nino and Ivan walk by the pair. "Dude, we already tried that, it doesn't work." Ivan murmurs, walking past the two.

Nino holds out an arm, promptly stopping the both of them. 

Ivan's mouth drops. "Oh my gosh!" He screeches, finally realizing what he was seeing. "It's happening!" 

"Where's my phone!" Nino yells.

"IT'S HAPPENING!!!" Ivan yells again, running around the hall.

"Alya will kill me if I don't get a photo!" 

"IT'S HAPPENING!!!!!!"

*

**Interview- Alya Cesaire**

"I'M NOT CRYING!!! YOU'RE CRYING!!!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHA! This chapter took me forever to write ToT
> 
> EXTRA SCENE: https://gataclism.tumblr.com/post/186507429931/adrien-marinette-kissed-me-nino-gasping-no


	16. ONE YEAR

I DIDNT NOTICE WHEN I UPDATED, BUT WE HIT OUR ONE YEAR YESTERDAY!!! WTF??? IT FEELS LIKE SO MUCH LONGER AND SO MUCH SHORTER ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!!

I guess it’s fitting since we’re reaching the end soon, but OH MY GOSH! I cannot believe this 😭

thank you to everyone that has been here since the beginning, cause I’m not sure I would’ve continued this without the support 🥺

here’s to a happy ending, and the vanquishing of the butterfly man!


	17. Chapter 8.5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEHE! ENJOY!

Alix stares at the completed DVD that she had just finished editting. It had every piece of film that she had taken these last few weeks, all pieced together for the viewing pleasure of everyone that had ordered a disc from her. 

That meant that it was over.

"Hey, Mini-Me." A soft voice says, and Alix jumps in her seat. She turns around to see Bunnyx stepping out of a circular hole in the universe.

"Hey, older me." She sighs, still staring down at the disc. 

Bunnyx raises an eyebrow. "Who are you calling 'old'?"

Alix lets out a soft smile, but she still looks sad. "I finished editting." She murmurs, raising the DVD.

Bunnyx sighs. "I know." She takes a seat on the edge of Alix's bed. "Not all good things can last."

"Well, everyone is happy and... not _as _dumb as before. I think that it's time."

"That's a very wise decision." Bunnyx murmurs. "I wouldn't have made it."

"Must be the akuma talking." Alix sighs. 

Bunnyx taps her foot on the carpeted floor of her old bedroom. "Are you going to come clean tonight?"

Alix smiles mischeviously. "Nah. I'll let everyone enjoy their last bit of body swapping tonight. They can go back to normal in the morning."

*

Adrien opens up the door of the Dupain-Cheng's house. On the other side was a small, older woman, looking around as if she was scared of being spotted.

"Marinette!" She exclaims, her hands going to her chest.

Adrien raises an eyebrow. "Do I know you?"

The woman's head falls. "It's me! Master Fu! I'm sure you've been wondering where I've been."

"No. Not really. Haven't even noticed you were gone." Adrien mutters, eyebrows scrunched together. "Do you come here often?"

"You know I do!" Master Fu exclaims. "Now, what has been going on recently?"

Adrien was still staring blankly at the old man. "So... you're saying... that you just normally come to Marinette. Like, not out of pity or necessity?"

"Now... you are talking about yourself in the third person..." Master Fu says slowly.

"I thought it was Ladybug and Chat Noir! Partners! Not Ladybug, and that dude that follows her around all of the time! Aren't we supposed to be equals?"

Tikki pops out from the sweater he was wearing. "You're _supposed _to be..." She sighs.

Fu was still looking at Adrien like he had grown two heads. "Adrien...?" He asks slowly.

"I work hard! And Marinette does too! But do we have the same levels of respect? No! I am constantly left in the dark!"

"So... where is Marinette?"

Adrien blinks at the old man, before shutting the door in his face. 

Fu looks down. "I deserved that."

"Yes." Wayzz murmurs. "Yes you did."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some Fu salt to lighten up your day!
> 
> For those of you that don't know, DVDs are what we used to watch movies on before streaming was invented ToT.
> 
> Until next time <3<3<3


	18. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, if I wasn't already up finishing my creative writing journal, I honestly don't think I would have finished this chapter. Not because it's particularly good, because I'm pretty sure I peaked at chapter 7.5, but because it's the last one before the ending ToT
> 
> Enjoy!

Lady Noir and Mister Bug land in the middle of street. 

Alya had gotten an anonymous email that told the superheroes to be in on main street around lunch time. The email had said that it had something to do with the body switching akuma.

Needless to say, they raced to the destination as fast as possible.

"Where are they?" Adrien asks, looking around.

"I don't know, we literally got here at the same time." Marinette answers, rolling her eyes at her boyfriend. _Boyfriend_. The thought made her giddy.

"This is where they said they'd meet us, right?"

"Yes!" She sighs, glaring at him. "Please stop asking me. I _really _don't know."

"That's okay!" Another voice speaks, and they turn their head to a small redhead walking towards them. "I know!"

"Alix!" Chat says, leaning towards her. "Good thing you're here! We're supposed to be meeting someone of an unknown height and gender, and very mysterious."

Marinette moves forward tilting her head at Alix. "What do you mean, you know?"

"Just that! I sent you guys the email! I'm the akuma!" Alix says, dazzling them with a wide smile.

"You're, like, the most hated person in Paris!" Chat exclaims, leaning away from her.

Alix giggles. "I know, right!"

"What type of pain could make you cause all of this evil?" Marinette yells, Chat having to stop her from taking any threatening steps towards the girl.

"I just wanted everybody to stop being idiots! And it worked! Well... sort of. There's only so many brain cells in the first place." Alix sighs, shrugging.

Ladybug raises an eyebrow. "So... why did you email Alya?"

"Because... I'm done. It's kind of getting old, and there's only so many things to happen." Alix says. "It was fun while it lasted, but I'm ready to get back to normal."

Chat purses his lips, leaning closer to Ladybug. "That was easier than I thought it would be."

Marinette just gives a scrutinizing look at Alix. "And... how are we supposed to defeat you?" She asks, clearly not believing her coopperation.

Alix reaches into her pocket, and holds out a dark purple ball. "This was the object Hawkmoth akumatized. Here you go!" She tosses the stress ball at Chat.

He stares down at it, and then glances at Ladybug. She nods emphatically. "Um... cataclysm." He says.

The object disintegrates, and a purple butterfly flies out like it had better places to be.

Ladybug snatches it up immediately, not even saying her signature catchphrase. When the white butterfly flaps away, she raises a hand. "Lucky charm." The polka dotted object barely touches the tips of her fingers before she is throwing it into the air. "Miraculous Ladybug."

The ladybugs fly all over Paris, returning things to how they were. No Parisian had ever been happier to see those ladybugs.

When they reached Ladybug and Chat Noir, pure euphoria appeared on their faces. Chat, in his own body now, hugs himself. "Yes! I don't feel naked anymore!"

Marinette shudders. "I have never been so happy to be short."

Adrien touches his ear, and yelps. "Ouch! That is going to take some getting used to!"

"It barely stings!"

Alix looks up at them, her eyes wide. "Um... what did I walk in on?"

The superheroes share a look, and step closer. "If we tell her..." Chat starts.

"She is going to hold this over us for the rest of our lives." Marinette murmurs.

The superheroes share a look, before turning to Alix. "Nothing! Absolutely nothing!" They both exclaim at the same time.

The word spreads. The message clear. Don't tell Alix about the body swapping incident.

And that's how it went for several more years, everybody too happy to be back in their bodies, and to not be reminded of that dreaded week. Of course, not all good things last forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, we're so close to the end. And I'm getting emotional writing this, so you should probably just leave.
> 
> The ending will be posted on Thursday, because I already wrote it.
> 
> Until next time <3<3<3


	19. Epilogue/Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ENJOY!

“Aww! Look at little Marinette!” Alya gushes, holding the baby boy close to her chest.

Chloe shakes her head, staring at his twin sister. “Nah, definitely mini Adrien. They look just like him when he was this small.”

“They may have his hair, but those eyes are all Dupain-Cheng!” Alya exclaims, holding the baby out like they did on the Lion King.

Chloe rolls her eyes and mouth, “Whatever,” To the little girl in her arms.

Alix shakes her head. “Who cares who they look like! They’re both adorable!” She turns to the new parents. “Do you guys want your kids back by any chance?”

“No!” They both shout, their eyes wide. 

Adrien clears his throat, his face heating up. “I mean… we love the kids…”

“But they’re so happy with you…” Marinette continues.

“And my arms feel like jello from holding them for so long...” Adrien continues, pressing a hand to his opposite bicep.

“And they’re actually quiet…” Marinette sighs, leaning her head against Adrien’s shoulder.

“It’s hard just standing up right now…”

“And we don’t have to rock on our feet and hum all the time…” 

Alix puts her hand up. “Got it! New parents and all. Need a break.”

“Especially with two of them.” Marinette confirms, her eyes pressing together until she sees stars behind her closed eyelids.

“Whatever you guys say. I still think they are the cutest babies in the world!” Alya chirps, her voice taking a higher pitch. “Yes you are!” She tickles Louis on the stomach.

Alix rolls her eyes. "Gross." She murmurs, but she was still smiling softly at the babies anyway.

“You know, when you think about it,” Chloe starts, raising an eyebrow at Alix. “If it weren’t for you, these adorable little things wouldn’t be here.”

“I’m sure that’s not true!” Marinette steps in, a warning bellying her words. “We would’ve gotten here sooner or later.”

Alya snorts. “Yeah right. You two were the most oblivious people I’ve ever met! It took you years to realize you were both in love with each other!”

“Okay…” Marinette murmurs looking away. “That’s enough…”

“And it took a whole body swap for all of it to finally come together!” Chloe adds. “Even with that, there were approximately six days before Marinette finally made the first move!”

Alix’s head pops up. “Wait! Wait! Go back! The whole… body swapping thing.”

“Yeah, you know!” Chloe continues, waving her hands around. “When you got akumatized, and made everybody switch bodies, and then we all made a pact to never tell you- oh, wait!” Chloe says, and Alya face palms.

“What! And… I didn’t get… like… a video or anything?!” Alix asks. “You all switched bodies, and I have no momentos! Can’t even remember it!”

“Well… you did make a video.” Chloe murmurs, and Alya elbows her in the side. She mouths “Sorry”.

Alix whirls on Marinette. “Where is it!?!”

Marinette shakes her head. “I made everyone promise to hide it, and they will not go against me. I threatened them with Plagg.” She adds at the end. “There’s no way for you to see what happened.”

Alix taps at her chin. “Right. It’s not like I have the ability to time travel or anything.”

Marinette stiffens. “You wouldn’t.”

“Have you met me?” Alix asks. “I  _ so _ would!” And that’s when she calls on her transformation. Marinette rushed forward, but she was too late. Alix had disappeared already.

“Is she…” Adrien starts, eyes wide.

Marinette sighs. “Going to hold this over us for the rest of our lives? Oh, she so is.”

Nobody is really sure when the story starts, but everyone can agree that no matter how you look at it, it started with Alix.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's over. That was it. It's done. I'm crying. Someone tell me to stop because I still have to go to class after this.
> 
> I love and appreciate every single one of you that read this crack au. It means so much to me, having your support even during my hiatus. 
> 
> A very special thank you to @gataclysm on Tumblr, who came up with this idea in the first place. I literally would not have done this without them. 
> 
> Again, thank you all so much! I can't believe that after a little more than a year and nineteen chapters, I am finally writing my farewell. This doesn't seem real.
> 
> If you want to read more of my works, I'm writing a book called Into The Unknown. It's not crack, and probably not funny, but *shameless self promotion noises*
> 
> Goodbye <3<3<3


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